A--Jude

Click the link above to check out the intro to the event!!

If you've been interested in datagrims, now's a great chance to get a free myo slot, as long as you join as a member and join the current event!

HJ already made a post on their account, and I'm a bit behind here. I apologize for not putting it up sooner, since it could be confusing being redirected to a fairly inactive account. It's bed time for me here, so I'll have things up tomorrow! Thank you for your patience and interest.

Like probably stuff that looks way less refined than before but literally at this point any art is a miracle lol

I'm going to copy from my recent post on tumblr regarding my inactivity. I think I'm ready for a positive turn with how I approach myself and my art!

"I honestly haven’t been drawing much for a very long time. Art still remains my greatest passion, but I feel like I’ve been going about how I treat myself as an artist all wrong.

I don’t want to give some long story about myself, so I’ll just say that I’ve always had a real bad time having measuring my own worth- something I’ve come to believe may not be worth trying to measure. Art was, as I would view myself, the only thing worth knowing me for. I overly confined myself to my passions and what I perceived as worthy of interest. I often found myself scared of being the awkward, vulnerable, flawed person that I am and set a facade of a confident artist.

But in some senses, being a confident artist wasn’t a lie! It wasn’t my skill that i was confident in, but my ability to keep pushing and trying, but the more I viewed it as a falsehood, the more my confidence faded. Especially as depression kept chipping away at my will to keep trying.

I forced these ideas onto myself that I would never be good enough for other people and because of that I have driven myself bone dry of confidence.

On my own, I am inclined to think poorly of myself, which is something that I have to beat down daily. And something that i’ve been doing an awfully poor job of recently. I need to stop defining myself by some phantom expectation that doesn’t even matter to me beyond the fear it’s instilled in me for years.

For years I’ve been trying, and often failing, at being less insecure about myself. I’ve drifted from friends many times, and although I have mainly good memories of all my friendships, I became so scared of screwing up that I ended up disappearing.

I want to be myself, very clearly and honestly. I want to allow myself room for mistakes and I have found encouragement through some of the great friends i’ve made. Messing up and having accidents is okay, and it’s not something worth suffocating yourself over.

Artist is part of who I am, but I also want to be more than that. I want to write here more, I want to talk to people more and become a warmer and stronger person. I might not post art for a really long time, but that doesn’t mean i’ve given up and that doesn’t mean i should view myself negatively."

I am thankful for everybody who has enjoyed my art and look forward to what I create in the future. I'm going to push very hard to get myself back together and stop being afraid of being myself.

All the people who have commented and talked to me over the years and have shown support even through favorites and follows have shown me how much I enjoy being here and being a part of an online community. Thank you!